March 18th, 2020

Showing up in an authentic way

Being authentic can be scary because it exposes you in ways that can make you feel vulnerable with others.  It can be easy to think that people will judge you, which can make you feel fearful and anxious.  But in my experience, the reverse is true - the more I am "me", the more positive people seem to respond to me.  

Being authentic is about connecting at a deeper level with people.  It's being known and getting to really know others.  When we show us as our real selves, we offer the people around us the real opportunity to be themselves too.  

So how can you start being more authentic in your interactions with people? 

1. Start with yourself - being authentic begins with being honest with yourself about what you really think and feel.  

2. Choose wisely - identify some safe people in your life/workplace who are trustworthy, kind and non-judgemental.

3. Take one step - the next time you speak to one of these safe people, try going one step deeper in your conversations than you usually would.  

4. Express your feelings - when you're sharing, make sure your mention your emotions e.g. when X happened, I felt Y and Z.  

5. Be courageous - being vulnerable can feel uncomfortable, especially when you are starting out, but be bold and persevere.  It is like a muscle you haven't used for a while - it gets easier the more you exercise it. 

6. Encourage others - help those around you to be authentic with you.  Be curious about who they are and what they feel, and be supportive when they share emotions or information with you. 

7. Be kind - as you endeavour to be more authentic, always try to be gentle with yourself and with others. 

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